First step....Roka or is it Thaka?

Well I finally found the guy of my dreams!  Being thirty-plus my family sighed a sigh of relief when they were told. Then it was finally time for the big meet, I was a step ahead and had met my other half's mum but with most of my family being abroad, he hadn't met anyone yet.

Then one evening he asks me that his mum is asking if we're going to do the Roka at the same time he meets my mum.  My reaction was what is Roka?  This is how it was explained it to me; a Roka takes place when a couple have found their soul mate it literally means that they or as used to be before will stop searching for life-partners because they have found the right one.
When I suggested Roka to my mum she started talking about Thaka???? I was getting more and more confused by the minute, especially because I always thought that Roka was the engagement ceremony but now I was being told this was the Sagai or Kurmai?  Turns out Roka and Thaka are the same, just different words are used by different communities and in different parts of Punjab.

It was decided to have the Roka at the same time my family met him and his family.
So our families met July last year.  In my case we decided to keep this custom a small and private affair it took place at my chacha's (paternal uncle)  house; primarily because of its location. Both families met and to seal the deal a token was given by his family to me and my family to him.  

This ceremony is different from family to family, I was told by a friend that during this ceremony she received a nath (nose-ring) from her mama (maternal uncle).  Most wedding customs differ with community, region and tradition.  I can tell you about mine and maybe some of you can fill me in about yours.

This was our first step towards many more steps to come...